Sleep While I Do
They say life is unkind. You don't see it
that way until...
I haven't seen a thing since that day. I think perhaps, I don't want
to. Every now and then, there is an intrusion, but I stop it. My nose
bleeds quite often. My head throbs non stop. Still, that's better than
seeing.
Don't know how I missed it, don't understand why I couldn't have helped,
but it was like a news story. It was as if someone was reporting the
event, so I was lulled, I was blinded, I couldn't read it.
In retrospect, something blocked it, and I believe, it was supposed to
happen that way. In-fact, I know it had to be that way. You walked out
just before it happened. I called out to you, but you had walked
out. If I had been able to pull myself away, if I had been able to
close out the sound and sight, maybe I could have intervened. Then
again, it happened the way it was supposed to. At times, I still
question it.
Many nights I watched you sleep. Many nights you drew the breath from
me, my orgasms so strong, my tears were barely able to escape my lids.
You would leave our bed and in your place there would be feathers. It
was absurd, and I would chide myself for being silly. I wasn't
being silly though, was I?
I hope with all my heart that you didn't suffer. When I watched it
unfold, the car crushed and almost invisible under the massive boulder, I
felt a pain in my heart. Since then, I have been empty.
Now, this may sound funny, but I find crystal tears on your pillow, and
I know you are crying. I'm sorry baby, I cry too, my tears soaking
into the soft pillow.
Your tears I have collected. They sit next to my bed, glowing a soft
warm gold when I think of you. I knew when we first met you would be
here with me only for a little while and though I am sad, I am also
grateful. Tell God, thank you, thank you for sending you to me. We had
eons of happiness in a short period of time, something others never
experience.
Stop crying, sleep now while I do, I say a little prayer for you.
