So it goes. How long has it been, almost two years yes? I still awake in my fever for you.
There are things I know deep down in my heart but, the logical mind, the part that tells me things would be different, if you wanted them to be, sometimes bowls me over.
I have learned how to deal with my anguish, it used to tear me up, the war that raged inside me. To do it or not, that was my question. There's no answer at least, I haven't found one and I did search, yes I did.
I have friends and family that tell me I am allowing myself to be miserable. I smiled to myself, I'd never realized that was what they saw (misery).
They don't understand the warm feeling that runs through me, they don't understand the electrical charges you trigger in my mind and my heart, they don't understand, that for you, I feel, I see, I laugh, I cry, I BREATHE.. Because for you, I AM!
I used to fight against it, the unquestionable hold you have over me, I don't fight anymore. I used to cry, wish, hope, expect, now, I wait.
They say I should be pitied, but why? I can wait, I will wait, after all, I have to wait, there is nothing else I can do.
I have friends that have tried for the date fix-up, one still asks for me and tries to talk whenever we run into each other. There's nothing for him or any other man for that matter, just you.
I just finished your letter, you will get it 6am sharp, I will check it at 9am, to make sure that you have read it.. I know that you have. I wonder about the letters sometimes, do you ever read them again or do you store them away, maybe coming back to the ones that serve your needs at the time.
I picture you, so fast, so free. Whatever is in your system, work it out but, know this, you can't run away from what is.
However, until then. I continue to put my thoughts, smiles, tears my entire being on the firmly pressed wood. I wait, I am waiting, I will wait..
There are things I know deep down in my heart but, the logical mind, the part that tells me things would be different, if you wanted them to be, sometimes bowls me over.
I have learned how to deal with my anguish, it used to tear me up, the war that raged inside me. To do it or not, that was my question. There's no answer at least, I haven't found one and I did search, yes I did.
I have friends and family that tell me I am allowing myself to be miserable. I smiled to myself, I'd never realized that was what they saw (misery).
They don't understand the warm feeling that runs through me, they don't understand the electrical charges you trigger in my mind and my heart, they don't understand, that for you, I feel, I see, I laugh, I cry, I BREATHE.. Because for you, I AM!
I used to fight against it, the unquestionable hold you have over me, I don't fight anymore. I used to cry, wish, hope, expect, now, I wait.
They say I should be pitied, but why? I can wait, I will wait, after all, I have to wait, there is nothing else I can do.
I have friends that have tried for the date fix-up, one still asks for me and tries to talk whenever we run into each other. There's nothing for him or any other man for that matter, just you.
I just finished your letter, you will get it 6am sharp, I will check it at 9am, to make sure that you have read it.. I know that you have. I wonder about the letters sometimes, do you ever read them again or do you store them away, maybe coming back to the ones that serve your needs at the time.
I picture you, so fast, so free. Whatever is in your system, work it out but, know this, you can't run away from what is.
However, until then. I continue to put my thoughts, smiles, tears my entire being on the firmly pressed wood. I wait, I am waiting, I will wait..
